Birth story of Demir: Before and after the birth

     On November 15th, 2005 at 4:45 p.m. we used to go to a private hospital in Adapazari for the routine check-ups as we worked in Adapazari in those days. The doctor said that my baby's situation was fine so I got very happy. I asked the doctor whether I would face up with any problems because I was going to Poland for the project meeting, and I had been pregnant for 27 weeks. My doctor whom I trusted said that everything was OK. However the gynaecologist who had been a doctor for 20 years hesitated saying my baby's gender. He betrayed my trust and I decided to see the other doctor in the hospital. The doctor mentioned that my baby was seen in his 22 weeks in fact he had to be in his 27 weeks according to SAT and that was a serious growth restriction, and the necessary tests had to be done. I was worried with my baby's health rather than the gender.

I immediately called my doctor who was in Izmir and talked about the situation. He asked whether I was sure about my menstrual cycle or not. I said I was sure about that. He said that it was a serious problem and told us to come there in order to examine the matter. Words are not enough to tell what I felt that moment. Only mothers and candidates of mothers could understand this. I was desperate but I had to be resistant because we didn't know what the problem exactly was . We bought the plane tickets and flew to Izmir in the following day (16 November). We went to the Clinics in Alsancak directly when we landed. The doctor examined me and my baby. He examined the previous reports and said that I became ill and my baby got too small because of intrauterine growth restriction. We had to learn the reason of this. We had to learn why my baby got small; because of genetic anomaly or infectious illnesses. The only way was cordo-synthesis at that moment. Cordo-synthesis is the technique which is taking some blood from baby's cordon for the examination about chromosomal disorders and infectious tests.  This is harder technique than the aminio-synthesis (technique of taking some liquid for the examination. My doctor recommended us one of his friend who worked at Celal Bayar University and specialised about this technique in France and was experienced on this technique. Then we got an appointment from her.

When we arrived at Celal Bayar University, it was hard to tell what i was feeling. What would happen? Would I have my baby aborted if my baby had a chromosomal disorder? Would my baby die because of cordo-synthesis? These questions were disturbing me very much. My doctor made me read the possible results of the cordo-synthesis and wanted me to sign if I accepted the possible results. We accepted and signed the results of cordo-synthesis. We had to know the reason of the growth restriction of my baby. We would have to get my baby aborted in his 27 weeks if the test result was chromosomal disorder. That was very horrible.

We got the result paper stating that there was no chromosomal disorder after 2 weeks delay. I can't tell how much we got happy. The following step was infectious tests. The illnesses during the pregnancy cause serious disorders on the baby. Our doctor, Yesim Baytar sent me Ege University in Izmir and we saw the gynaecologist professor, Mr. Sedar Ozsener. After he examined me, and looked at my result of the cordo-synthesis. He confined me for the infectious tests. All necessary tests were done and thanks Allah that everything was OK. The situation of my baby was discussed at Professor Council and they decided not to abort the baby because no illnesses were found. They decided to have an intensive care. I was very happy, because my baby was still inside me and I didn't lose him. In those days my baby's weight was about just 600 grams and his height was 30 cm (11,81 inches). I thought he was OK and he would grow up in the future.

I went to both Celal Bayar University and Ege University for the check-ups. I had NST (Non-Stress Test) three times a week. They showed me my baby's heart beatings and my baby's situation wasn't very bad.

Then I was discharged from the hospital and started to stay in our house in Karsiyaka, Izmir. I just used to go for check-ups. I had a serious backache for few nights. I was always disturbed because of those aches. I learned soon that those aches were the signal of premature delivery.  

In my last check-up in Celal Bayar University in Manisa the blood steam of my baby was examined by the help of Doppler, and it was stated that the blood steam of my baby wasn't enough and my baby was about to be under stress. They decided on a caesarean in one week. We got shocked.  We were expecting a premature delivery but not so early. I was just 30 week pregnant. My baby was just about 650 grams.

Immediately my doctor at Ege University hospitalised me and he said that I had to make a decision. Date was December 27, 2005. Doctor spoke with me very pessimistically: I would let my baby die inside me or they would abort the baby. I would give a chance to my baby by caesarean even though there would be high possibility of losing my baby after the birth. My doctors mentioned that there might be high possibility of my baby's death after birth and my baby might face up with some diseases such as blindness, deafness, autism, and they said that if I accepted those risks, I would give birth. We had to make a decision. According to my doctor, my baby would probably die and there were just 3 rights to have caesarean and they thought I shouldn't have used my one caesarean right for this baby. Because I was taking the chance of the following healthy baby according to the doctors. However I didn't thought like that. I talked to  my husband. We just wanted two kids for the rest of our lives. I was determined to use my one chance for this baby, because I carried him for 30 weeks. I felt his moves, heart beats and I even saw his face in 3D ultrasound. How could I give up?...

I tried to think logically, I thought I deserved this baby. I would certainly give birth whatever the result would be. I told my decision to my doctor. They said all right and they would give me the celeston injection to make the baby's lungs ready to breathe properly after birth. They gave me two dosages of celeston injection on Thursday night and Friday morning. It was decided that the delivery would be on Monday, January 2. I started to wait for the delivery. I would have a caesarean as my baby was too small and he couldn't resist the normal delivery.

And the new year was coming. My husband was with me at the hospital till 7:00 p.m. I was very sad that I would be alone in new year without my husband. My husband was very ill too and he had to go as he couldn't stay at the hospital. And I started to have the same backache. I didn't feel comfortable and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I took the pain killer after I asked the doctor but it didn't work. I got hungry at around 10:00 p.m. but I didn't want to have meal. I just wanted to eat a banana. Just after 10 minutes, I felt sick and I ran to the toilet. While vomiting, the liquid came out. We called the doctors, they took me to the delivery room and they said that the liquid was amnion liquid and decided on the delivery. I got shocked, because the delivery was going to be on Monday, January 2. I didn't think that I would give the birth just on new year.

They took me to the delivery by using spinal anaesthesia. I was awake and I was aware of what was happening around me. I asked for one thing from the doctors: I said "Please show me my baby's face in any case." I would have seen his face even he would die. I carried him for 31 weeks. During the delivery, I felt as if I couldn't breathe and I said to doctors "I am dying". They said that I was OK, blood pressure, pulse, respiration were all right. But I screamed "No, I am dying and I can't breathe". In fact I was having a panic attack first time in my life. Hope it was the last one.

Let's go back to delivery process. I heard a weak voice coming from my baby. They brought him to the newborn intensive care unit immediately in a portable incubator and I couldn't see my baby. The doctors told me that I had a little son. I felt both happiness and sadness, what if he might die and what if I wouldn't be able to see him.

I stayed at intensive care unit for 13 hours. Nurses were around me and they kept talking to me because I gave birth to the baby who was the first baby in new year at Ege University. At 00:01 exactly. That was a nice feeling. Hope I could see him too. I was receiving some news about my baby. My baby got 9-10 out of 10 according to Apgar score. His respiration was OK, and the doctors didn't have to use respirator for him. He could survive although he was born premature at only 814 grams and 32 cm (12,59 inches). I got very happy when I received good news. But what would happen next?

I didn't believe my eyes when I first saw my baby on January 3, on Tuesday. He was so small. He was even smaller than the dolls at toy shops. I thought that if this baby survive, I would believe in miracles.

After two days, the news got worse. Doctors told my husband that my baby was probably going to die. I didn't hear about that, he didn't tell me about that. Thanks Allah that I didn't hear that because I would get crazy if I heard that. Then we went to see him everyday.  We could see our baby for just 2 minutes, because of infection risk. After 12 days, when we went to hospital, we learnt that they started to feed him with mother's milk. I got so happy that I couldn't explain. We learnt that they were using the cords attached in his nose and mouth to give him mother's milk. My baby met my milk. After about 20 days, my baby's stomach was so swollen that it was supposed that there was a hole in his intestines and he was said to have an operation. We couldn't believe that and we got sad, we cried a lot. We couldn't do anything except praying. I understood that human being is desperate. There was nothing we could do.

They put him a portable incubator for the ultrasound check-up and we went to ultrasound room with him. I despaired for the first time. My baby didn't look well. I thought we were losing him.

The ones who saw my baby in the incubator said "Ohh! he is so small. What a pity". Doctors sent my baby to the department of Child Surgery for the further check-ups. I held my baby in my arms  at the department of Child Surgery for the first time. I was very happy but I got crazy when I thought that he was going to undergo an operation.

After a few days, doctors said that the reason of his swell in his stomach was constipation not because of the hole in his intestines. It was said that he defecated so he didn't have to undergo an operation. I got very happy. When one of my friend came to visit her baby, she heard that "Demir shitted as much as his height and he got rid of the operation." I laughed a lot.

He became victorious in his second war. A week later, I learnt that Demir was OK and they would call me to teach me how to look after him. I was very happy to hear that. I could be nearer my baby. I could hold him in my arms and kiss him. We came together on February 5, 2006. I was taught how to look after him for 8 days. My baby was discharged from the hospital when he was 1230 grams on February 13, 2006. We were very happy but there were a lot of things to do. After that Demir had to be examined more intensively. There were a lot of tests such as eye (ROP), auditory, neurological check-ups and more tests to be done. We overcame lots of problems, hope we would overcome other problems hereafter.

As we used to work in Adapazari, we went to newborn unit at Kocaeli University in Izmit for the further examinations.   

Our doctor, Mr. Gokhan Buyukkale with whom we are still in contact continued to examine Demir. Everything went well. He dealt with all his vaccinations, growth, nutrition. We thank him a lot.

We have been trying to grow him up from that day forth. We take him to the check-up at least in 2 weeks. He is quite well, of course his weight is less than his peers. Hope he will be as well as his peers in near future.

We thank all the doctors who looked after Demir and took care of him, all the staff at Ege University, Celal Bayar University and Kocaeli University.

I thank you all who spent time to read this memory and shared my feelings.    

December 27, 2006 
Serap Kirdar Kuzoren

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